N Marion Hage: Perspective    
 Perspective3 comments
29 Oct 2006 @ 23:06, by N Marion Hage

Perspective

Thinking people; you either love them or hate them. I tend to love them. And I don’t mean to imply that any people don’t think; but I’m talking about people who are open to pondering the wonders of life, meaning, what matters in life as opposed to what entertains.

I’m one of those people; and if you can’t deal with that and think I’m weird and would judge me for it; I’ll live. It isn’t like not having a date to the prom- laughs-I never made it to either of my proms. But this relates to the point I’m making, at that time it seemed like not going to the prom would ruin my life. Now it means nothing. Time doesn’t make everyone wise; but for those who are watching and thinking, it gives us one advantage; and that is a matter of perspective.

If you look at my pictures, one of them is a beautiful scene of a field, green distant mountains against a sky. And I added a comment that without contrast all life would blur into one indistinct picture. I meant this philosophically. If we had a life without challenges or hardships, something that helps us to put things into perspective, then our emotional growth would be stunted like – excuse me if you are a princess- those spoiled princesses who have half million dollar birthday parties, get a new Mercedes, and then cry because the limo that picked them up wasn’t the color they wanted. The rest of the world says, “What are you thinking! Put this all in perspective…if you can’t be happy with all this, then you really have some emotional issues!”

For those who are curious to go further; perspective is like contrast. If you put white words against a gray background they don’t pop out as much as if you put white words on a black background. The stark difference between the two colors allows you to see what is being said much more clearly.

How does that relate to perspective? Perspective allows us to see how important events are and then to deal with them accordingly. One of the gifts of the elderly, which are unfortunately shifted into the background rather than forefront of society, is that they’ve been there and done that. If the car crashes and nobody gets hurt, they are most likely to tell you it’s no big deal; you’ll get over it. If someone rejects you or betrays you; they’ll be the first to tell you; “You’ll live and learn to love again.”

Many years ago I made a declaration; some of which I now regret. I said, “I want to be a wise old sage when I grow up!” What was I thinking? Just look at my picture and I think to think I asked for premature aging! I should have just said I wanted to be a wise sage and left it at that. “Old! Bah! Humbug!” Heck, I should have asked to be like Aragorn who at eighty was running around slaying Orcs.

I was nineteen and a half – just kidding- as you get older those “halfs” mean absolutely nothing, when I made that abrupt declaration. I was in a rock band, and a scholarship athlete. My goals up to this point had to do with becoming a pro athlete or rock star.

Backtrack. I grew up a problem child. In retrospect some of my problems were clearly ones of perspective. Getting rejected by girls or getting cut from the seventh grade basketball team despite being the tallest kid in the grade, clearly laughable issues now, were devastating when I was in my young teens. At that time, those events seemed to define my life; confirming my feelings that I was a misfit loser.

Now, again, fast forward: I became a small time basketball star; was in a rock band that coulda, shoulda, woulda made it all the way had the lead singer been faithful to his wife. We were that close to the big leagues. I wrote a few songs other people recorded. I went from pariah to the guy the girls fought over- which lasted all about two minutes- but those were two pretty great minutes.

But even when life turned around for me, I was sad, and expected at any time the prince would turn once again into the pumpkin.

“Come on Nate, were you happy or sad?”

I now have a completely different perspective on life; on suffering; on values; on what really matters. I wish I could impart all that I’ve learned to those who would know what I’ve learned. Even if I wrote books, there are some things that only time will teach you.

Still, for the sakes of those who are going through difficulties in life, who feel worthless, ugly, that life and circumstances are overwhelming. Now that I’ve been there and done that, and have some perspective, those seemingly dark periods in life are mostly seasons; that if you weather them, you will grow and find you not only survived but came out a better person, a person who had something of value to say to others.

When I was young I think I underwent virtually every kind of shame, abuse, and humiliation a person can endure- or in my case almost didn’t endure. All of those things – the seeming worst events- would make me laugh now. It was not that they didn’t mean anything; rather it was that I can see past those kind of things that the worst of events don’t have to define us.

“If I’d only knew then what I know now!” But I can’t go back; so instead, through my writing and my art I’ve determined to share some perspective, what I’ve learned, for the sakes of those who would enjoy it.



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3 comments

9 Sep 2009 @ 10:09 by untitled @72.226.95.162 : kudos
This is one of the more inspirational pieces of writing on the net. Good job!  


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