Gerald Vest: Early Identification of Bullies    
 Early Identification of Bullies12 comments
picture16 Nov 2006 @ 14:43, by Gerald Vest

During the past six years we have accepted the behavior of bullies, especially Bush, Rumsfeld and Cheney. I think that we have had enough of this abuse and our election has demonstrated that it is time for change in leadership.

How can we improve our home, school, work place and neighborhood so that our environment is human centered -- loving, caring, nourishing, responsible and respectful?

Profile of a Bully

"Adult bullies, like their schoolyard counterparts, tend to be insecure people with poor or non-existent social skills and little empathy. They turn this insecurity outwards, finding satisfaction in their ability to attack and diminish the capable people around them.

A work place bully subjects the target to unjustified criticism and trivial fault-finding. In addition, he or she humiliates the target, especially in front of others, and ignores, overrules, isolates and excludes the target.

If the bully is the target's superior, he or she may: set the target up for failure by setting unrealistic goals or deadlines, or denying necessary information and resources; either overload the target with work or take all work away (sometimes replacing proper work with demeaning jobs); or increase responsibility while removing authority.

Regardless of specific tactics, the intimidation is driven by the bully's need to control others." [link]

Seems to me that we have far too many persons in authority who secure and maintain their position of authority by bullying, intimidating and controlling others. Children often learn to bully others by observing and experiencing authoritarian parents, teachers, coaches and others who lose control of their emotions and become abusive. We see many of these bullies in the sporting world. For example, most recently I observed Bobby Knight physically abusing one of his players on TV by forcing his player to look him in the eyes while talking to him.

These aggressive and controlling persons, rarely change behaviors, even after being fired from a previous position as head basketball coach at Indiana University for losing control and abusing his players. By the way, we must remind coaches that these players are also our students who we treat with dignity and respect. Personally, I believe that we should forget the old adage that professional athletes and coaches serve as good role models for our children. For most of them, winning means more to them than the lives of their charges.

Here are two extensive websites that describe a culture of bullies. We have all been associated with these controlling, angry and abusive individuals. I know that I have had supervisors who misused their positions of authority and created an environment of intimidation and fear. I think that these articles show how sinister these bullies can be and how we can identify or recognize them and learn to do something about improving our work place and our social environment. After all, our country, home, school and work place should serve as a safe sanctuary for learning, experimenting, developing, and creating our best possibilities as human beings. Obviously, when we do not feel safe and secure, our spiritual qualities, health and wellbeing are at risk.

[link]


[link]

Note: This article was also published in my Blog-Learning to Play with Children[link]



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12 comments

16 Nov 2006 @ 19:23 by celestial : Gerald,
I need to confess, I pick on people bigger than me but only when they get way out of line. What Should I do?

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I'm certainly no expert on the subject as I've always been a little guy with a big heart. I was also trained in the martial arts so I've really never had the need to prove anything to my opponents. Seems to me that when we are secure inside oursides, we don't have to react and get even, if you will. Thanks for interacting here, Daniel.  



16 Nov 2006 @ 19:25 by jobrown : Thanks, Jerry,
for "joining" the "ranks" here on NCN, who have tried to take up the Subject of bully'ing. This bully-thing is pretty much the only thing we Humans need to take to Heart and understand fully -and then actually do our own healing -each and every one of us. We are talking about a serious malfunction of our own ( = Human ) psyche, that has gone more or less untreated for millenias already. The healing one person at the time has been slow and painfull -and scarred with blood of the one on the healing path, cos' the non-interested in healing themselves do not allow the one interested in healing to actually go on with the healing!!!
At the bottom of the Bully(ing) issue is energy vampire'ism. The bully's need of Life energy is INFINITE and their ability to receive fresh energy for themselves STRAIGHT FROM THE SOURCE is so blocked ; like a clogged up waterpipe!... so that they literally cannot utilize FRESH Cosmic Energy ; it has to be prepared like BABY FOOD; pure`d/mushed -whatever, but processed > the high frequencies lowered down for them to utilize it. And what better way of doing this than taking energy from the ones who have it and lower the vibration while the energy still is in the other person, by making that person FEEL totally un-justly 'so and so bad' = the lowering process!!! THIS is what the bullying is all about!
BTW; the bully'ing in Work Places is a big thing, but the even bigger is bullying at home: Parents bullying eachother AND their Children, House Pets etc!.... This is where bullying is ORIGINALLY forced upon the more Complete persons; the more Innocent ones and then learned /imitated by them -in order to survive in the hostile environment!!!
( still to this day Prince Charles has to apply for Audience with his mother IF/WHEN he wants/needs to talk (more than just "Small Talk"/ Photo-ops) with his mother. Now, if 'Formal' (= strictly regulated/ controlled, ritualized), behaviour isn't the sign nr one of the genuine bully environment, then nothing is! )  



16 Nov 2006 @ 19:49 by jerryvest : I think it is so true that most of us
do have a "healing thing" to take care of. As a professional therapist, I've always encouraged my clients to process their experiences with their abuse issues, especially coming from their parents. I did my own parent karma work for several years as I was fearful of my dad who often came across to me as angry and mean. But, I also realize that I am overly sensitive and perceptially misinterpreted much of his behavior. In any even, before he died we discussed these issues and I was able to see him in a different light. I am also able to see all of the great things he did for me/us and appreciate the loving care and kindness that he manifested.

I did learn over time that integrative health practices work best for healing when we include the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual interventions for transcending our fears and insecurities.

Astrid, thanks for your keen awareness and thoughtful comments on the subjects that I introduce.  



16 Nov 2006 @ 20:04 by jobrown : That is so true, Jerry!
MOST PArents did give us BOTH treaments: the one/s of genuine LOVE and care for us -and then when coming from own insecurities or oppressed parts of their PSyche, they tended to be slightly abusive! I remember when I ;eared to see my Mom as my Mom AND a from me free own individual -with her insecurities based on her own life and upbringing etc. Humans have tortured each other and themelves for such a long time!
We NEED HEALING; a PLANET-wide, ALL Humans, involving healing! Yet it is a person by person job!.... But luckily the Cosmic Energy processes make it a little easier: synergy, for example. 'Hundreth Monkey Syndrome' being another Cosmic Process-tool, that makes it all easier, faster. ( I could feel your old pain as well as your joy from the healing process with your Father. Brought tears to eyes. Recognition! Yes, I could relate to Your Story! Thanks, Jerry! We need to talk nothing else for the next few years, but this!.... Once this subject is the DAILY CHAT of ALL!.... then Things will start falling onto ( the right) place/s by themselves! and certainly with a little help from us, now that we are all healed : HAPPY, FILLED with Joy and Life-Enthusiasm again! : )  



17 Nov 2006 @ 13:34 by jerryvest : Yes, Astrid, I am sure that my parents
were not mindful of their interactions with us. Also, they were part of a generation that believed in corporal punishment, held prejudical beliefs about persons of color, religion, culture, sexual orientation, etc. I'm not sure things have changed that much over time in the south, midwest and other parts of the country where these persons have migrated. Seems that we can see the differences in the elections where the "R's" maintain their strength. I know that this will upset many, but these are the places that breed intolerance and are least respectful of differences. {link:http://hotlineblog.nationaljournal.com/archives/2006/11/post_122.html}

I am making some generalizations and am certainly open to other opinions here. The important point is that when we grow up with intolerance and a closed mind we suffer, stagnate and lose our freedom.  



17 Nov 2006 @ 18:44 by jobrown : Jerry, I believe
this Sad State of Mind/Soul is prevalent today ALL OVER THE PLANET! It infection seems to be -this time around- appr 6000 years old from the time it started to really seriously spread among Mankind, yet is is "always" "only two generations deep"-as ot seems to me; From the Parents ( and their Times ) to their Children! Forever and ever, as it seemingly has been. But the Truth is, that the ones who got a glimpse of real Life and chose Love-approach (as opposite to punishment- reward approach).
Today so many have recovered that we can see this healing being a MOVEMENT, though it needs to grow more and fast, since the ones still ill, are so afraid of losing their ground and they are working overtime to stop the healing of the bully ( The four first Gospels talk about just this HEALING of the Bully-Mind and how the Bully-Mind was reluctant then and there, representing a worldwide State of Affairs/Reluctance Towards Healing; "changing", I am sure.)And this whole Reluctance takes whatever forms, depending on the Times and the Location/s concerned. Mid West; "R:s" vs "D:s"... Yes... shows up "this" way!... Mid East;
shows up this way!... every corner of the Stage for the Human Psyche has its own piece and style of the Play of Reluctance vs Willingness Towards Healing/ Transformation -or "Change Of Life Style/Mind". The Bully vibration -being the lowest that even can hold the Human form -provided it is able to STEAL energy from someone/somewhere else -WITHOUT THAT STEALING OF ENERGY; THE BULLY VIBRATION IS NOT AT ALL capable of surviving -let alone being sustainable!!!- This FATAL ILLNESS of The SOUL, Mankind has to be willing to heal from and allow change -IF Man/kind wants to survive Him/Itself!
You and I can see this clearly, Jerry, and hopefully us talking about this much enough and loud enough can wake up a few others to hear and see the importance, indeed necessity, on getting on with this healing (; "Change of Lifestyle": the desire for THAT comes in fact automatically, with a certain amount of/within the Transformation /Healing-Package. It is a Built-In thing in there, so to speak!). NOW!  



17 Nov 2006 @ 19:15 by jerryvest : Yes, I hope we can continue this
healing process as a global community. As you said earlier: Parents bullying eachother AND their Children, House Pets etc!.... "This is where bullying is ORIGINALLY forced upon the more Complete persons; the more Innocent ones and then learned /imitated by them -in order to survive in the hostile environment!!!"

I have been thinking about developing another discussion on corporal punishment because it is so prevalent in our society. I believe there are over 20 or so states that still allow spanking in the schools here in the US and it is outlawed in most of the industrialized countries of the world. There are many websites that show both sides of this issue so I don't want to waste my time or others in reseaching these issues. For example: {link:http://www.religioustolerance.org/spanking_menu.htm}
{link:http://www.stophitting.com/disatschool/facts.php}
{link:http://www.endcorporalpunishment.org/}
{link:http://www.google.com/Top/Society/Issues/Children,_Youth_and_Family/Corporal_Punishment/} This is most comprehensive listing of sites.

It doesn't seem to me that reason and research has much influence on the minds of those who have chosen to keep them closed. I remember when I first arrived here in southern New Mexico(1978), our teachers and principals were allowed to use a paddle freely and several of us organized, wrote letters to the editor, visited our school boards and served as advocates for our children. In a very short time our local schools abandoned the use of physical punishment, so I know it can happen when we organize to protect our kids.  



17 Nov 2006 @ 21:02 by jobrown : Just looked into your first link here
above. That is GREAT!!! I wish ALL ncn members would look into it very carefully, I hope! This is also a consciousness expanding Topics -just like the Bully Topics!
The difficulty we are facing, still, is the fact that the Establishment Itself, is coming and DWELLING more or less 100% , still, in the Bully vibration/Archetype; thus being of the Fundamentalist "religious"/PSYCHE version, an mind you, that the Bible, for instance is to 94 % from this bully ARCHETYPE vibration..... and THAT Archetype does NOT want "any Change". WHY, we can discuss AGAIN, if there is interest.... (So far some of us has tried to introduce that Knowledge Info here, but it has NOT been met with any enthusiasm at all, -but the opposite!.... )  



18 Nov 2006 @ 15:48 by jerryvest : Thank's, Astrid...
It does look like this subject of bullies and corporal punishment does not attract much interest here. As you and I noted earlier, the fundamentalist population that supports abuse are fixed in their religious dogma for the most part. The bullies who control and manipulate others are given positions of power and authority by virtue of inheritance, deceit, money, indifference and feelings of powerlessness of the general population.

Perhaps when we find our courage and real strength we can build a civilization that is human centered--respectful, dignified and loving.  



19 Nov 2006 @ 05:24 by jobrown : A Species Gone Mad!.....
Here you will find a PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSIS that states what we are talking about: http://baltimorechronicle.com/2006/111506Levy.html

Delusions of Separation
Very few people seem to have noticed that we are a species gone mad, which itself is an expression of the extent of the collective insanity we have fallen into.
by PAUL LEVY  



19 Nov 2006 @ 14:18 by jerryvest : Thanks for this excellent article by
Paul Levy. It shows how karma works in the field of consciousness and the crazyness that exists with the Bush clan and others who believe in their projections. Here is a passage that Levy shows can help break out of these delusions:

"We can only recognize ADS when we realize that we are not separate from each other as well as the universe at large, but, as quantum physics points out, we are “active participants” in creating and calling forth the very universe we co-inhabit. We are interconnected creative beings who are actively, whether we realize it or not, co-creating our lives together. When enough of us realize our interdependence, we can “conspire to co-inspire” each other into deeper, more stabile and coherent levels of lucidity in the dream of life. Like T cells uniting to fight a deadly cancer, we can collaboratively come together and connect with each other and help ourselves heal the psychic blindness that has infected our greater body politic and is causing it to turn against itself in tragically destructive ways."

This ADS also explains the wierd reasoning of the Evangelicals who are trapped in their false world views. Thanks again, Astrid. I hope our participants will examine this article and pass it along to others who share our vision for peace, wisdom and unity.  



22 Nov 2006 @ 15:08 by jerryvest : Britain is trying to deal with bullies..
Absent enemies

"Much truancy is caused by bullying, new research shows. Why aren't schools able to prevent this?"

Julie Bindel
Tuesday November 21, 2006
The Guardian


"Today 55,000 young people will be absent from school because they are being bullied - that is one-third of all truancies. These shocking figures are findings from research published this week by the charity Beatbullying (BB). To mark Anti-Bullying Week, it has commissioned a hard-hitting TV advertisement in an attempt to raise awareness about the links between bullying and truancy. The research also found that there are strong, irrefutable links between persistent truancy and a young person's opportunities in later life."

"What we have discovered for the first time ever is an inarguable link between poor behaviour, bullying and absence from school," says Niall Cowley, head of communications at BB. "Its effect on the future workforce is disastrous."

BB's research was conducted by questionnaire, delivered via its website and completed by almost 2,600 young people who reported being bullied in the past year, as well as a series of intensive one-to-one interviews with individuals.

It found that of all young people bullied, almost half truant. Reasons given by interviewees include: "So I could get somewhere I felt safe and somewhere I knew no one could hurt me"; "I didn't want to go to school I suppose really for fear of my life"; and "Because I felt worthless and hated".

This article goes on to describe strategies for prevention. {link:http://society.guardian.co.uk/children/story/0,,1952783,00.html}  



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