THE FOREST GREEN: Iv'e just been informed...    
 Iv'e just been informed...4 comments
Wednesday, October 17th 2007, by Marissa A Spencer

by my wasband... (we are physically separated, but still financially tied and we share the duplex we own.. he on one side.. me on the other.. it is complicated lol)

that I should be totally fulfilled by attending to my duties of the home and helping my children be successful. Now grant you, I love my children and I do put forth efforts on their behalf to succeed. My youngest is now 12 and in gifted and talented program. My other children are also doing well in school. Two are in college.

This whole conversation with my not so better half, sprang from a conversation this morning. I was driving him to school. ( he took himself off the insurance after running a red light and hitting another car and totaling our other car). He was definitely not happy that I had gone to my youngest son's school to meet with parents and the principal to discuss issues of interest. This is a once a month meeting for about an hour on every third Tuesday. Apparently this is considered outside activity by .. well you know who... and that I really should be concentrating my efforts on my home.

I admit to being a bit down and depressed lately, and the therapy I received years ago was wonderful. I was told... GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.... and... GET SOMETHING OF YOUR OWN TO DO....

I thought it was good advice. I feel more cheerful already. I will be helping with the fall festival at the school and I also am going to be a docent for a day at Sutter's Fort for the Environmental Living Program... teaching some spinning and weaving whilst in full authentic costume. This will be my third year doing that activity. It is great fun and educational as well. The kids love it. My son Ben will be able to be a helper. He was a participant the last two years.

Now I finally feel some direction in my life. My youngest son is thrilled. We all are happy... well.. except for one man. lol




17 Oct 2007 @ 18:07 by celestial : skookum
I applaud both you and your wasband for living so close to each other, I presume for the children's sake.

I wish I could have done that myself with my waswife for our children's sake.

With love.  

17 Oct 2007 @ 20:38 by skookum : the kids ARE
my main focus.. one of the reasons this all rankles.. I give my all for them.. have for years. Now that they are older I feel I can help out at the school a little. It makes a big difference. As it is said.. it takes a community to raise a child.

The children are doing great. I feel it was the right choice. I did have to explain to my wasband that I am a social person. I need people in my life. The children and him are not enough. He on the other hand really doesn't like people. I worked while he was on disability. The kids were floundering with him at home and me at work. When he was finally able to get back to work (my work coverage provided health insurance for him),I quit to care for the family. So I made the decision to be home. I don't regret that, but I am surely not to be a prisoner in my own home.

Besides... I want my children to learn to serve and contribute. How will they learn if I never show them?


18 Oct 2007 @ 16:01 by vaxen : Isn't...
"serving" what got you there in the first place skookie? ;) Repeat this 20 times a day: "Non Serviam!"
ahhahah.. no, serving HIM got me there
helping at the community level.. schools, neighborhood etc I think is fine

community service I think is allowed.. isn't what we do that matters.. as long as WE truly want to do it

I am working with great people and learning a lot.



18 Oct 2007 @ 17:51 by celestial : In Defense of Skookum,
She is the queen of her castle. Only she can decide if it is to be a prison or a castle and it sounds like she has chosen it to be a castle.

A Proverb:
A wise woman (queen BEE) builds her house, her home, her hive, her FAMILY: but a foolish woman rips it down with her own hands!

And from the sages I've read...
"The highest river will be brought low.
Which is greater, the highest river or the lowly ocean?"


Thanks Celestial for that understanding. I think I know what Vax was referring to. I have priorities and the kids are pretty high up there. They are no longer small children so I heap what they should be responsible for on them more and more. They have no problem with Mom heading out to do some things she wants to do. The problem is who I am married to.

I have always loved being home. Doing my homey stuff etc. I love it, but it isn't ALL I am to be defined by. I will eventually have to get more training so I can earn a good wage so I can become financially independent. I have a plan you know lol. When I worked I didn't earn much.  

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