|THE FOREST GREEN: In the Darkness|
13 comments26 Jul 2004 @ 22:25 by spiritseek : a new one
don't tell me you ran out of older ones? Another nice one marissa.
26 Jul 2004 @ 22:41 by skookum : ty
oh no.. i have LOTs of older ones
27 Jul 2004 @ 03:00 by jazzolog : Do You Mind If I Get Into Detail?
I'm wondering where the image "timber-less walls" came from. Is there a story within the poem there?
I think the word "naked" might be an interesting different choice in the next line. "Barely" in the following line would be even more striking then.
"Naked" appears in the next quatrain, so perhaps the word "open" would be interesting to try in one of those places. Just thought this reader of all your poems might attempt a somewhat different response as comment.
27 Jul 2004 @ 08:41 by celestial : Different Response
oH Jazzy, U want sum of de tail?
I've been watching you; the word
'naked' seems to excite you.
Maybe she's barely naked in a room without walls!
Skookum, such eroticism.
27 Jul 2004 @ 08:59 by skookum : good idea
wrote that when i was half asleep
hey... everyone is erotic
well.. walls are made of wood.. at times
27 Jul 2004 @ 10:11 by jazzolog : Walls Of Brick
Yes, they are. Just wondered if what prompted "timber-less" was somewhere around the conscious surface. Sometimes writers like to talk about the craft of the process...but not all do of course. (Good grief, Celestial!)
27 Jul 2004 @ 11:20 by skookum : welllll
hmm... why timber-less... means they are not 'real' walls... but wall in spirit or emotion...hence.. not made of wood..
my imaginary place I go in my head is a wooden cabin... I don't think in brick here in California.. ya know.. not a lot of brick near me.
hard to dissolve brick into dust... much more sturdy.. stable.. immoveable
they cannot be burned in a fire very well either
wood comes from a living thing.. not man made
27 Jul 2004 @ 12:11 by jazzolog : Thanks
Yes that's it. I wonder how many people have imaginary cabins in their heads. But the emotional walls idea is what I was looking for I think.
27 Jul 2004 @ 12:27 by skookum : well
it isn't like I've had any classes in writing or anything.
English 1A... and part of a 1B class.. all I have taken
gawd.. i have no idea where most of this stuff comes from anyway ahahhaha
27 Jul 2004 @ 17:30 by vaxen : But then...
is'nt California known for its' adobe? I fancied that instead of timbered walls you might be alluding to concrete or whatever they build them of where you live. In any case it is a nice piece of work skookum. Eros, Phileos, Agapeos.
27 Jul 2004 @ 23:41 by skookum : well.. southern cal
has lots of adobe.. some here.. I happen to love the look of it.
Lordy... do ya think I think when ahm writin lol?
28 Jul 2004 @ 12:12 by vaxen : I never...
ever accused you of thinking, skookum, has anyone else? ;) Therefore, I know S. California has adobe and speaks with a 'Spanish Drawl' and you all, the ladies, wear the Shawal (Shawl) at night in honor of your roots. SO adobe was a natural thought stimulated as it was by your timberless-wall. Timberless, SOuthern California...hmmm they do not use timber there for building? Probably because it never gets a chance to grow from one year to the next thaks to all the fires so...adobe was the immediate picture that came. You inside adobe walls, could be prison walls, pining away, was what came to mind...
28 Jul 2004 @ 12:23 by skookum : ah well
I shall be free someday. Most prisons are of our own making... with choices we have made.
Nonetheles, would I ever produce great art if I had an easy life? lol
Now.. if I looked like my sister...I could pass for a Senorita.
time will tell
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