|Matrix Mashing Musings: Blame|
6 comments19 Nov 2003 @ 17:33 by waalstraat : Ok, hmmm
good practice...very difficult...but it has very good results...and in most situations you can almost always say "I was there" or "I contribute to this"
19 Nov 2003 @ 18:00 by vibrani : Responsibility works both ways
and turning the other cheek sometimes mean you get both cheeks slapped, so unless I misunderstand your post, do you mean it's okay for us to get slapped time and time again at the expense of someone unwilling to take responsibility? Let's take this current case as an example: We can blame Michael Jackson for being a child sexual predator and we'd probably be right about it, yet he has to be responsible just as the parents who allowed their children to be alone with the man must be responsible. As far as the finger trap thingy goes, relaxation is the way out of it, not struggling and fighting the trap. I think I understand the connection between blame, responsibility and the finger trap: you mean it's our own responsibility to get ourselves out of it. Does that let everyone else off the hook?
20 Nov 2003 @ 04:30 by ming : Blame
The type of blame that is unhealthy is when you make other people responsible for YOUR feelings and your actions and reactions. "You made me feel bad!" kind of thing. Or where one group blames another for their condition.
Truth will tend to resolve problems. So, if you find two individuals or two groups blaming each other for their problems, and the situation isn't resolving, it probably wasn't a useful thing to do. Taking responsibility for your own situation, and working things out with others, tends to be most useful.
I think the fingertrap is a good metaphor for that. An individual might not be able to get very far in terms of personal change before he figures out how to get the finger pointed in the right direction.
20 Nov 2003 @ 12:19 by vibrani : More on blame
Well, if someone was raped or otherwise violently attacked, they couldn't point a finger at the attacker and say you did this to me, and I am physically impaired and emotionally wounded because of what the attacker did? So you've just wiped out the entire justice and mental health system, to name a couple, eh Ming? Maybe this also explains why you don't "get" Israel and Jews?
20 Nov 2003 @ 16:20 by ming : Blame, blame
Yes, it probably relates quite well to that subject. If somebody stole your car, and you say "There! That's the guy who stole my car!", or you were physically raped and you say "That's the exact guy who raped me!", that will obviously be instrumental in sorting out the crime. But it isn't exactly blame, and certainly not the kind of blame talked about here. It is identifying the perpetrator of a crime.
But if you feel bad about yourself, and you feel just like as if somebody had raped you, even though nobody did, and you look around for somebody who seems to be sort of against you and you say "There! That guy raped me!", then you're engaging in an act of deception. At best self-deception, at worst you're getting somebody else accused of something that isn't their doing.
It is in part an issue of being precise in describing what happened. If you indeed were raped, and you then say "Aha, they raped me, the black people!", that would be a failure in properly identifying cause, and an erroneous generalization, even if the person who raped you happened to be black.
24 Nov 2003 @ 18:13 by tsebastian : Reply to all
Thank you Ming, you did seem to duplicate my intentions here... My interpretation of turning the other cheek can even be more specifically described like this: If someone does something to you that makes you feel "bad" emotionally (ie, a reaction) and you take the time to fully feel out this reaction and understand the "truth" in it, the energy becomes available to transform the "identitification" or "attachment" that is being challenged. If you dont get it the first time, "turn the other cheek" and try again. Heh heh
This is not a beginners practice. But it is a way to use everyday life in a transformative way to dismantle automatic responses and return to authenticity.
Other entries in Articles
11 Mar 2004: My New Website
7 Nov 2003: Necessary Ingredients to Transformation