|6 Nov 2001 @ 15:41, by Zen Benefiel|
I would like you to know that any communication I make to you is always intended to be in love. We use many words, some of them have many meanings. I seek to empower you as I do with everyone. If I offend, then I'm open to hearing it. I do my best to listen from a place of love too, even though I may not always hear perfectly. I can understand your workload and dilemma within/out your living experience. I'd like to share something as well.
I would like you to know that any communication I make to you is always intended to be in love. We use many words, some of them have many meanings. I seek to empower you as I do with everyone. If I offend, then I'm open to hearing it. I do my best to listen from a place of love too, even though I may not always hear perfectly. I can understand your workload and dilemma within/out your living experience. I'd like to share something as well. I opened up to a plethora of gifts when I first began exploring the metaphyical world at 18. I came to a point that I questioned my own wisdom in using these gifts as well, and rather than take the chance of misuse, I walked away from them. I knew that if they were to be used, that they would develop naturally and that eventually, when they 'needed' to be used, I would have full faith in my Self to do what was necessary.
I spent quite some time yesterday writing, which I can't remember the last time I did that...maybe that last time I was sitting on the privy at 12,000 feet. I was writing about the process I've observed within myself from the time of the event until now. We've all been in magical and mystical journies since our realities were confronted on that not so seemingly serendipitous day. By the grace of God and my I AM Presence, I had opened a portal at the back of the canyon I was staying at in LA before my trip to Chile. It had been opened to allow trapped spirits to exit this plane. From the reports of the caretaker of the property, there were droves of souls that found the EXIT sign while I was gone. After returning, I resided there until my return to Phoenix.
On the morning, I walked into the office (a revamped laundry room under the beachhouse) around 8 am and the phone immediately rang. The caller, a female friend, announced the events of the morning... I don't listen to radio, watch TV or read the newspaper normally. So, after being informed, my initial intentional direction was simply asking how to serve. What came was that I needed to awaken the rest of the crew and proceed to the portal to energize it in order to attract those who had just made their seemingly untimely transitions. Fortunately all those present were hip to the idea. I told them on the way back (about a 1/2 mile hike) that I hoped we could attract those that were on their way home, to LA, and that they, in turn, could act as beacons for the rest of the folks, and who knows what might happen from there. I also admitted that I had no idea just what was going to happen... only that we needed to open our hearts and show up for the task. Everyone expressed being able to serve in this way was a great honor... and I felt tremendously humbled as well.
When we finally reached position, we sat (4 of us) in a circle holding hands. I offered a prayer of invitation and protection, calling on all the kingdoms for assistance. There were several rounds of prayer, much like being in a sweat, and with each brought tremendous overwhelming feelings of anguish, grief, emotional turmoil, pain, suffering and all the attendant sensations. My body became a writhing river of this torrent of tumult. It felt as if the entire emotional forces of their fear and fright were present and flowing through me, being grounded only by those blessed ones with me. As we were finishing what turned out to be the first round, another arrived. We then went back into the energy and opened to the cosmic and galactic energies that were available to assist in this transitional transom. Again, the emotions poured through me... this time as though Mother Earth's pain and suffering were flowing through me also. I've never felt such depth of suffering and emotional turmoil... and trust me, I've been to some pretty deep places. The job was done, nonetheless, and I felt/feel such gratitude for being able to serve in that capacity, no matter what the residual affects would be on myself.
Now, its those affects that have been interesting. Since that time, I've felt like I've had many bodies that are waving back and forth within and around me... almost like a liquid or sloshy feeling as I moved, especially if I moved into a horizontal position. I was very concerned for my health at one point. Then I realized that I had offered to be of ANY service necessary, and with the worlds I seem to be in contact with, it felt like they were integrating throughout planet earth and I was just hyperaware of the process because of my closeness to it. Some of you all may have felt similar feelings of wavy-gravyness. We are all being tested to the Nth degree now, to see if we are truly committed... or just need the straight jacket. This feeling of sloshiness just subsided last weekend. I had gotten so used to it that it took me a few days to realize that it was gone. I'm not sure what all has integrated. I suspect we're up for another jolt soon. I pray to be able to stand in my center and assist again, in any way necessary.
I honor and am honored by you and all the others as we all are doing our best to collaborate in this movement toward Unity. Not everyone is going to make it... even though we hoped they would. All we can do is the best we can in any given moment, and do our best to live our passions in genuine unconditional love. We do have to stand for something, though, or we will fall for anything. As long as we agree to stand in Unison, in whatever concept of unconditional love we individually have, then we are making headway... and God, in my opinion, is pleased.... not because we have to please God... because that part in ourselves is most important and precious... Unity in Diversity. Accepting each other without wanting to tell each other 'how' to be or 'who' to be is quite challenging. We all tend to do it... mostly because we do care so deeply, I feel. The types and depths of feelings we are beginning to experience have been avoided for a long, long time. They are what have fueled the fire of separation. WE have a chance to use that fire to cook up a great pot of stew (instead of stirring the cauldron of condemnation), so that we can share the meal, the gathering... breaking bread together once again.